Lisa highlights healing SHAME as the gateway to transformation, and here she tells us how facing hers has helped her rebuild her life;
“On Memorial Day weekend in 2008, my life as I had known it for 35 years came to an abrupt halt. I suddenly began to “see” in a brand new way.
Everything I thought I knew about myself (and life in general) came into question, catapulting me into an alternate reality that some would claim isn’t scientifically possible. What I saw, felt, and heard during this time is difficult to capture with the written word; it was as if my sixth-sense accelerator was pushed all the way to the floor for 9 months straight. Visions, voices, lucid dreams, emotional extremes and paranormal activity highlight a glimpse into what my reality was like during this time period. I felt like I had cracked open, causing a “flooding in” of highly intimate and meaning-laden material that shocked me to the core.
Exactly 1 year later in May 2009, I landed in a therapist’s office with a broken heart and a shattered self-image. By then I had seen the inside of a courtroom (where I had to explain all of my unusual experiences that I had written down), endured a temporary separation from my family, and had thoughts of suicide. A descriptive image is that God had my life in a bowl that He suddenly turned upside-down, spilling out the contents for everyone to see (and judge). Sitting across from this therapist for the first time, I came face to face with someone who could actually see me for “me” and the magnitude of what I was facing: I had completely repressed/blocked out the terrifying experiences I had as a young child. It was time to take a closer look at the meaning behind the crisis.
In the healing years that followed, I slowly grew to understand, accept, and work with my emotions and intuition instead of going into denial and repression. What emerged was a deep, profound reverence for the many varieties of human expression, and a passionate desire to pay forward the gift I was given in therapy of a “safe haven”.
I believe there is tremendous value in the practice of being vulnerable, which is why I choose to share my story here with you.”
“By gently looking into what we are the most ashamed of within ourselves is where we will find our greatest gifts.”
Lisa Wheeler, Transpersonal Therapist, Austin, Texas